A Time Of Learning…
As many of you know, I am currently in a fight for my Life. Not just physically, which would be hard enough, but mentally as well. With every day being a battle, the Holidays can make even the smallest obstacle seem insurmountable. Dinner with Family. Shopping for gifts. Even going out to look at lights all seem impossible dreams.
It is easy, being ‘broken’, to come to dread the Holidays. Not for what they mean, but rather for the fantasies and impossible tasks and goals we set for ourselves. We worry that we have to have the ‘Perfect’ day. The ‘Perfect’ dinner party, the ‘Perfect’ gift, and so on. An we spend far too much time beating ourselves up for things we have no real control over!
Living in Pain is hard. Period. End of. Full stop.
Just rising out of bed is a small victory. Bathing or getting dressed another one. Doing these tings and remaining civil is, at times, a miracle. And yet we still want, beyond all reasonable expectation, to do the things and be the people we used to be. It is time to face the fact that you aren’t that person any longer.
When we can accept that we are what we are, broken, then we can begin to catch glimmers of happiness. Instead of seeing nothing but pain and misery, we can capture moments of happiness. No, things are not as they once were. That’s life. Things are what they ARE.
Time to accept that and learn to find the joy in our new reality. What little bit there may be. And rejoice in small victories! Look at the Holidays as times with a greater chance of finding a snippet of happiness instead of a time where you have to be something for someone else. Be yourself and accept whatever happy things you can find.