I Am Angry… And Afraid.

I Am Angry…

From the soles of my feet,
To the top of my head.
Every fiber of my being screams out
In impotent rage.

It colors every word I say,
Every thought I have,
Every passage I read,
And every interaction I have.

It is all just so…
UNFAIR!
UNJUST!
UNCARING!

And a dozen other ‘UN’s.

It isn’t fair to those around me
Who have to put up with my stupid temper.
My snarking at trivial things.
Lashing out at those who care.

I feel like I am sitting in a large room
With only my hands sticking out through
A wall of foot-thick glass;
Only able to interact with now-faulty digits alone.

Every single day..
The glass edges further down my hands.
Its cold, sharp edges,
Cutting away my feeling of the outer world.

And so I Fear.

I fear the day when the glass
Closes over my broken hands
Like it has over my shattered soul
And I am no longer able to reach out
Or interact with the ones I Love,
Leaving me all Alone to face my Pain and Sorrow.

Because I Know what comes then.
And…
I almost welcome it.

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~ by daveprime on July 19, 2013.

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