And So I Grind Time….

Friday, May 10, 2013     :11:30am

And so it begins again…

For the past few months, the clinic I have been going to has kept me on a pittance of pain medications and has had me on gabapentin.  It did little for my pain, except for my hands, but it had the effect of increasing my appetite and putting me into a haze.  I stopped calling people. Or writing. Or much of anything.

So I stopped it a week ago.  My mind is aware, if.. Isolated, once again.  And my appetite is gone. *Poof*
So I am sure the weight loss my doctors seem so intent upon will follow shortly.

They want me to lose 1/3 of my body weight.  Then *perhaps, maybe, they *might* do something.


They are afraid of treating me.  Period.
Afraid that I will die if I undergo surgery.
Afraid I will die if they treat my pain.

Just.. Afraid.

My “quality of Life” is close to zero.
I am a prisoner in my own body of pain.
And I cannot think of a path or an escape…

So I grind time, Spending more and more of the hours horizontal, in the dark, regardless of whether or not sleep will come.

And So I Grind Time….


~ by daveprime on May 10, 2013.

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