Just Another Poem…..

Days of the past,
Faintly remembered..
Another life entirely.
Not even sure if it was Real,
Or just some imagined Fairy Tale.
Some fevered Dream.

If there was a switch I could throw turn myself off,
I would throw it.
This half-human creature I’ve become,
Is not who I *am*
Or was ever meant to be….

A fresh razor’s edge,
Is dull compared to the boundary
I walk on a daily basis….
Or a nightly…..

On the other side
Of a tissue-thin barrier,
Lies a final lifetime free of pain.
Free of loss.
Free of…… that.. thing.

It calls to me. It sings.
It queries and seeks some kind of answer,
And I find myself
Ready to give it one.

That mewling, pitiful creature,
That inhabits the same time and space
As the Spark that is *me*,
Merely obscures the lifesong
I have attempted to sing.

So I sit far back,
About 3 feet behind its eyes,
And watch its pitiable struggles,
With a faint wisp of a smile on my lips.

I no longer feel the need to feed,
Or nourish that wretched thing
That everyone mistakes for who I am.
Why would I prolong its suffering?
I an not a *Monster*!
Just…. Numb.

Just look at it!
Curled up in a tight ball of Pain;
Broken, Traumatized, and full of Weakness.
It deserves what it gets.
Which is *nothing*….

I go through the motions.
Say all the right words.
I know them, who better?
Why not comfort those nearby?

But inside my cell,
Wrapped up in glass and steel,
I mindlessly howl and rage.
Scream lungless into the night.

And count down the seconds,
Until that pitiful thing out there,
Finally stops its incessant keening,
And opens the door for my Final Escape.


~ by daveprime on November 28, 2012.

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