Not Today

I have decided not to kill myself today.
Not because I don’t have the means, heavens no.
These meat bags we call ‘bodies’
Can be stopped any number of different ways.

I have decided not to kill myself today.
Not because I fear the pain.
Nothing could hurt much worse
Than what I live through every second of every day.

I have decided not to kill myself today.
Not because I’m especially needed anymore.
Those few still near me are perfectly capable
Of taking care of themselves and each other.

I have decided not to kill myself today.
Not for any religious or Spiritual taboo.
I firmly believe a God willing to sacrifice Himself for me,
Will certainly be there to catch me when I finally fail.

No,
I have decided not to kill myself today because,
There is the slightest guttering flame of hope still left.
That somehow the dark won’t descend completely.
That I won’t be left here in screaming agony
For however many more seconds I can stand….

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~ by daveprime on September 12, 2012.

One Response to “Not Today”

  1. As long as I have breath in me, I have hope. We’ll find a way, and we’ll get through this!

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