The Devil’s Bargain…

I had a dream last night.
It should have been a good one,
And, to be shamefully honest, it truly was.
Until I woke up and all of the implications
Of what it would mean, were it to happen,
Fell down around my ears.

I was finally able to find a cure,
But at a terrible cost.
A semi-magical salve could be made,
But it required the blood and bone of another person.
Preferably someone close in lineage.
The closer the better.

Without my knowledge,
This unguent was made and then applied to me in my sleep.
Suddenly I awoke 20 years younger and
Healed in mind and body.
For once, everything that makes up the thing that is me
Worked the way it was supposed to.

And it was GLORIOUS!!
I took my bride to bed for a week!
I ran a mile just because I could!
I played ball with my grandkids in the summer grass!
I ate what I wanted without fear of pain or indigestion!

I was ALIVE,
Not this half-animated corpse
That shambles through pain shuttered nights.
I was whole again,
And able to do all of those things that once defined me.

And turning the corner with my child in my arms,
I awoke.
To that dreadfully well-known feeling of
Loss and regret.
And guilt.

And I sit and wonder……….
Who would I be willing to sacrifice to be “well” again?
I would like to think that I would choose NO ONE.
Yes. I would like to think that…….

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~ by daveprime on August 12, 2010.

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