Waiting……

The baleful eye of the sun,
Seems somehow blinded today.
Its warmth shunted off into
Some other plane than the one my soul inhabits.

I see its golden light.
I feel it on my skin.
But somehow its warmth and life
Have been sucked away from my very soul.

I look around myself slowly,
Trying to take in everything with my too dead eyes.
No color. No vitality.
The world I inhabit is merely shades of gray.

I know that to others it is a verdant paradise
Filled with laughter, love, and joy;
Where every day brings new and wonderful things.
Good for them.

I don’t seem to see it.

Instead I feel only the pain.
I see nothing but obstacles in my way;
Hardships to be endured or overcome;
Difficulties to get through.

All I know is that night is coming again.
In a few hours, minutes, or breaths.
And with it…. The Enemy.
And I want to scream and cry like a small child.

During the day I can face what I have become.
Most days anyhow.
But at night the boundaries fall away,
And the Beast can reach me anytime, anywhere, anywhen.

So I grab a handful of relief,
Slam it back with a swallow of bitter coffee,
And bide my time until
The ravening beasts of hell come once more against me…..

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~ by daveprime on August 4, 2010.

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