The baleful eye of the sun,
Seems somehow blinded today.
Its warmth shunted off into
Some other plane than the one my soul inhabits.
I see its golden light.
I feel it on my skin.
But somehow its warmth and life
Have been sucked away from my very soul.
I look around myself slowly,
Trying to take in everything with my too dead eyes.
No color. No vitality.
The world I inhabit is merely shades of gray.
I know that to others it is a verdant paradise
Filled with laughter, love, and joy;
Where every day brings new and wonderful things.
Good for them.
I don’t seem to see it.
Instead I feel only the pain.
I see nothing but obstacles in my way;
Hardships to be endured or overcome;
Difficulties to get through.
All I know is that night is coming again.
In a few hours, minutes, or breaths.
And with it…. The Enemy.
And I want to scream and cry like a small child.
During the day I can face what I have become.
Most days anyhow.
But at night the boundaries fall away,
And the Beast can reach me anytime, anywhere, anywhen.
So I grab a handful of relief,
Slam it back with a swallow of bitter coffee,
And bide my time until
The ravening beasts of hell come once more against me…..