A Decade Of Pain…

As I sit in the dark,
looking over the past decade of agony,
I cannot but help feeling…
Lost
Angry
Heartsick
And broken.

There was a time I was a young God in the sun!
Everything I wished was mine merely for the taking.
Anything.  Anywhere.  Anytime.
A child of the 80’s, there was very little I could not have.

It came on suddenly.
A knife stroke from a demon hand,
Hidden in plain daylight.
And then began the real battle…

Every movement, every breath
Fought for with grim determination.
At the cost of yet another small piece of me.
An offering, as it were, to that demon ravener stalking me.

Step by step, inch by ragged inch,’
I gave way before its merciless onslaught.
Unwavering in its burning hatred,
It sought nothing less than the total dissolutionment
Of all I ever was or could have been.

The past ten years have been a rearguard action.
Striving to hold on to my sanity,
As my physical self was slowly mutilated;
Inch, by yard, by jagged, tearing slice.

I once held my dreams in my very hands.
And have been forced to watch them
Pour out through my fingers like
Arid bits of bloody sand….

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~ by daveprime on March 10, 2010.

4 Responses to “A Decade Of Pain…”

  1. *bighugs*

  2. Thanks,luv. Sometimes a little sincere caring is the best response of all…

  3. I’ve been doing some research on chronic pain and…well… everything else. My husband suffered from chronic pain until 2007, when he died. One thing I realized during the 11 years he had pain was that no one really got it. Family, friends, all thought that he should be over it by now. I also realized that there were no resources for the family living with a loved ne in chronic pain. Everything challenge had to be dealt with blind. One day I had a colleague ask me to speak with her sister whose husband had chronic pain. She was having a hard time dealing with it..not knowing what to expect next. That gave me the idea of writing a book on chronic pain from the family’s point of view and how to get through the challenges and survive the battles. So that’s what I am doing,hence the research. I came across your site. The poems are right on. Would you consider letting me use them in my book? I am just now getting really into my book. Before my husband passed away, all my free time was spent with him. After he died I had no interest in anything. I’m just now getting out of my grief-stricken funk and working on the book. I’d love to hear your thoughts. I would like to use some of your thoughts in my book if you agree.

    God bless.

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