A Recurring Dream….

When I close my eyes

I find myself standing on a grassy plain.
The hip deep blades of green
sway lightly in a dusty hot breeze.

.

I am well.
Whole.
Undamaged.
And standing in silver plate armor,
A four foot steel blade in my right hand.
.

Below me, the plain opens up and leads
Eventually to a river, surrounded by
Small clumps of low-lying trees.
Birds wheel in the argent pre-dawn sky.
Behind me I hear them coming.
As always.

.
I turn to face the coming terror,
And am shocked by the sheer devastation now before me.
Bare, cracked earth rises to a
Dead and Burning peak jutting into
The silver-streaked air.
.

Coming towards me at a loping run are The Horde.
A mass of hatred and vile desire incarnate.
And I, alone, stand between their ravening hate
And the land and all I love behind me.

I raise my blade as the sun crests the horizon behind me.
It’s light merely bringing into focus
The revulsion coming at me.
I brace my feet and lower my blade,
Ready for another day of slow defeat.

.
For age-long minutes I hack and chop
At the never ending host before me.
My blade rising, falling, rising.
Hewing flesh like timber
Destined for some homesteader’s morning fire.
.

The hours go by.
Wounded and alone I am slowly forced
To give ground.
Step by step they defile and destroy
Every inch of this valley that I love.
Until I stand ankle deep in the water
Of my beloved river.

Behind my armored back,
On the far back of this pristine stream,
Stand those I love more
Than life, or death
Itself.

To fail is to be forced
To stand and watch
As this evil mass,
Destroys that which I Love
Even more than myself.

The water runs red and clotted with the
Chunks of gore I have hewn from my enemy.
And yet they still come.
I no longer see their faces,
The late day sun
mercifully shielding most of the horror from my eyes.

.
And yet I still must give ground.
Knee deep.
Thigh deep.
Hip then chest deep.
it is all I can do to raise my blade.
.

And then I am in over my head.
My dented, gore clotted armor
Drags me down.
Bubbles rising slowly to the glimmering surface….

With a start, I awaken again into this broken body.
And almost wish I could have stayed there.

For just One more minute…..

One more watery breath…..

And I weep…..

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~ by daveprime on October 20, 2009.

3 Responses to “A Recurring Dream….”

  1. Reblogged this on A Walk Through The Darkness Of Chronic Pain And Depression… and commented:

    Been having this dream, or a variation of it a lot lately…

  2. Very nice blog post. I certainly appreciate this website.
    Stick with it!

  3. So beautiful….& so touching. I realize that I only “know” you from the chronic pain page on FB, but whenever I read what you write-whether it’s there, or here-I feel as though I truly “know” your soul…I feel your emotions, your pain. It’s like gazing into a mirror-looking back at myself; only YOU are the one who put the pen to paper.

    I agree with the last comment…PLEASE stick with this. You are helping more than you probably even realize. For that, I THANK YOU.

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