A Recurring Dream….

When I close my eyes

I find myself standing on a grassy plain.
The hip deep blades of green
sway lightly in a dusty hot breeze.


I am well.
And standing in silver plate armor,
A four foot steel blade in my right hand.

Below me, the plain opens up and leads
Eventually to a river, surrounded by
Small clumps of low-lying trees.
Birds wheel in the argent pre-dawn sky.
Behind me I hear them coming.
As always.

I turn to face the coming terror,
And am shocked by the sheer devastation now before me.
Bare, cracked earth rises to a
Dead and Burning peak jutting into
The silver-streaked air.

Coming towards me at a loping run are The Horde.
A mass of hatred and vile desire incarnate.
And I, alone, stand between their ravening hate
And the land and all I love behind me.

I raise my blade as the sun crests the horizon behind me.
It’s light merely bringing into focus
The revulsion coming at me.
I brace my feet and lower my blade,
Ready for another day of slow defeat.

For age-long minutes I hack and chop
At the never ending host before me.
My blade rising, falling, rising.
Hewing flesh like timber
Destined for some homesteader’s morning fire.

The hours go by.
Wounded and alone I am slowly forced
To give ground.
Step by step they defile and destroy
Every inch of this valley that I love.
Until I stand ankle deep in the water
Of my beloved river.

Behind my armored back,
On the far back of this pristine stream,
Stand those I love more
Than life, or death

To fail is to be forced
To stand and watch
As this evil mass,
Destroys that which I Love
Even more than myself.

The water runs red and clotted with the
Chunks of gore I have hewn from my enemy.
And yet they still come.
I no longer see their faces,
The late day sun
mercifully shielding most of the horror from my eyes.

And yet I still must give ground.
Knee deep.
Thigh deep.
Hip then chest deep.
it is all I can do to raise my blade.

And then I am in over my head.
My dented, gore clotted armor
Drags me down.
Bubbles rising slowly to the glimmering surface….

With a start, I awaken again into this broken body.
And almost wish I could have stayed there.

For just One more minute…..

One more watery breath…..

And I weep…..


~ by daveprime on October 20, 2009.

3 Responses to “A Recurring Dream….”

  1. Reblogged this on A Walk Through The Darkness Of Chronic Pain And Depression… and commented:

    Been having this dream, or a variation of it a lot lately…

  2. Very nice blog post. I certainly appreciate this website.
    Stick with it!

  3. So beautiful….& so touching. I realize that I only “know” you from the chronic pain page on FB, but whenever I read what you write-whether it’s there, or here-I feel as though I truly “know” your soul…I feel your emotions, your pain. It’s like gazing into a mirror-looking back at myself; only YOU are the one who put the pen to paper.

    I agree with the last comment…PLEASE stick with this. You are helping more than you probably even realize. For that, I THANK YOU.

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